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And
the list grows again this year...
Things
that you can say ONLY at Thanksgiving
1. Talk about a huge breast!
2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
3. It's Cool Whip time!
4. If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!
5. Whew, that's one terrific spread!
6. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.
7. Are you ready for seconds yet?
8. It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
9. Just wait your turn, you'll get some!
10. Don't play with your meat.
11. Just spread the legs open and stuff it in.
12. Do you think you'll be able to handle all
these people at once?
13. I didn't expect everyone to come at once!
14. You still have a little bit on your chin.
15. How long will it take after you stick it in?
16. You'll know it's ready when it pops up.
17. Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of
that!
18. That's the biggest one I've ever seen!
19. How long do I beat it before it's ready?
20.
Reach in and grab the giblets!
21.And he forces his way into the end zone!
22. She's 5000 pounds fully inflated and it takes
15 men to hold her down.
23.
He slipped the ball around the backside to the
tight end!
24.
I'll cream the onions!
25.
Do you want it here on the table?
26.
Uh-oh, the mini-marshmallows disappeared!
27.
It's so tender and juicy.
28.
Whip it until it's creamy.
29.
Which end should I stuff first?
30.
Honey, Grandpa wants some too!
Little Bubba was sitting in his grandmother's
kitchen, watching her prepare the Thanksgiving
meal.
"What are you doing?"
Bubba asked.
"Oh, I'm just
stuffing the turkey," his grandmother
replied.
"That's cool!"
Bubba said. "Are you going to hang it next to
the deer?"
---Jaqui,
Newark, NJ
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Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in a house
together. One night the 96-year-old draws a bath.
She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells
to the other sisters, 'Was I getting in or out of
the bath?'
The 94-year-old yells back, 'I
don't know. I'll come up and see.' She starts up
the stairs and pauses, 'Was I going up the
stairs or down?
The 92-year-old is sitting at
the kitchen table having tea listening to her
sisters, she shakes her head and says, 'I sure
hope I never get that
forgetful, knock on wood.'
She then yells, 'I'll
come up and help both of you as soon as I see
who's at the door.
---
JM, Mansfield, OH
Bush
Presidential Library
There's a show on C-SPAN about presidential
libraries. Here're what the draft plans for the
George W. Bush Library now call for:
The Alberto Gonzales Room - Where you can't
remember any of the exhibits.
The Hurricane Katrina Room - It's still under
construction.
The Texas Air National Guard Room - Where you
don't have to even show up.
The Walter Reed Hospital Room - Where they
don't let you in.
The Guantanamo Bay Room - Where they don't let
you out.
The Weapons of Mass Destruction Room - Nobody
has been able to find it.
The War in Iraq Room - After you complete
your first tour, they can force you to go back for
your second and third and fourth and fifth tours.
The K-Street Project Gift Shop - Where you can
buy an election, or, if no one cares, steal one.
The Men's Room - Where you could meet a
Republican Senator (or two).
To be fair, the President
has done some good things, and so the museum will
have an electron microscope to help you locate
them.
When asked, President
Bush said that he didn't care so much about the
individual exhibits as long as his museum was
better than his father's.
---
Momma Lyd
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