18

And the list grows again this year... 

Things that you can say ONLY at Thanksgiving
1. Talk about a huge breast!
2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
3. It's Cool Whip time!
4. If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!
5. Whew, that's one terrific spread!
6. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.
7. Are you ready for seconds yet?
8. It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
9. Just wait your turn, you'll get some!
10. Don't play with your meat.
11. Just spread the legs open and stuff it in.
12. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?
13. I didn't expect everyone to come at once!
14. You still have a little bit on your chin.
15. How long will it take after you stick it in?
16. You'll know it's ready when it pops up.
17. Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that!
18. That's the biggest one I've ever seen!
19. How long do I beat it before it's ready?

20. Reach in and grab the giblets!
21.And he forces his way into the end zone!
22. She's 5000 pounds fully inflated and it takes 15 men to hold her down.

23. He slipped the ball around the backside to the tight end!

24. I'll cream the onions!

25. Do you want it here on the table?

26.  Uh-oh, the mini-marshmallows disappeared! 

27. It's so tender and juicy. 

28. Whip it until it's creamy. 

29. Which end should I stuff first?

30. Honey, Grandpa wants some too! 


     Little Bubba was sitting in his grandmother's kitchen, watching her prepare the Thanksgiving meal.
    "What are you doing?" Bubba asked.
     "Oh, I'm just stuffing the turkey," his grandmother replied.
     "That's cool!" Bubba said. "Are you going to hang it next to the deer?"

---Jaqui,  Newark, NJ

 

 

 

 

 

 

   Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in a house together. One night the 96-year-old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses.  She yells to the other sisters, 'Was I getting in or out of the bath?'
    The 94-year-old yells back, 'I don't know. I'll come up and see.' She starts up the stairs and pauses,  'Was I going up the stairs or down?
    The 92-year-old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters, she shakes her head and says, 'I sure hope I never get that
forgetful, knock on wood.'
     She then yells, 'I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door.

--- JM,  Mansfield, OH


Bush Presidential Library
There's a show on C-SPAN about presidential libraries. Here're what the draft plans for the George W. Bush Library now call for:
The Alberto Gonzales Room - Where you can't remember any of the exhibits.
The Hurricane Katrina Room - It's still under construction.
The Texas Air National Guard Room - Where you don't have to even show up.
The Walter Reed Hospital Room - Where they don't let you in.
The Guantanamo Bay Room - Where they don't let you out.
The Weapons of Mass Destruction Room - Nobody has been able to find it.
The War in Iraq Room - After you complete your first tour, they can force you to go back for your second and third and fourth and fifth tours.
The K-Street Project Gift Shop - Where you can buy an election, or, if no one cares, steal one.
The Men's Room - Where you could meet a Republican Senator (or two).
     To be fair, the President has done some good things, and so the museum will have an electron microscope to help you locate them.
     When asked, President Bush said that he didn't care so much about the individual exhibits as long as his museum was better than his father's.

--- Momma Lyd


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